Round 5? 6?

Another day. Another inane one-liner from Mr. Scanlan. You can't make this stuff up. You have to just cut & paste: "Here are the letters for your property I know you know who Mike Ross is give him a call to see if I am who I say I am. We would still like to access you property for survey."

I am starting to lose hope. Either Mr. Scanlan believes he can push people and bully them into submission, to obtain what he wants, or some form of autism impairs his capacity to communicate and understand what other people say. I decide autism is not the issue. I would be more sympathetic if that was the case. As is, I just believe I am dealing with someone who is probably used to push people around and shove them out of the way. Pity! And this is someone who represents a company? Bad choice. Who hires these people, anyway?

First of all, I do not know Mr. Ross. I have heard his name, but that is all, and I am under no obligation to contact anyone. The burden is on you, Mr, Scanlan, to make proof that you are who you say you are and represent who you say you represent. The burden is also on you, or the companies involved in this matter, to contact landowners in a manner that is courteous, professional, thorough and, I dare say, sensitive and respectful.  

The letters attached to Mr. Scanlan's email are incomplete. There are two letters, but only the first page for each letter is attached. The letterhead is Dominion's. Am I supposed to guess what's on the missing pages? One of the letters isn't even addressed to me, it is addressed to Bell Timbering. Netiquette requires that any correspondence received that is not addressed to me be immediately deleted and that the sender be notified of the error. I do so. 

I exchange a few more emails with Mr. Scanlan. We sends me a scan of his business card, and asks for an address to send a letter. I wonder, "Is he joking?" I can sit at my computer and create a dozen of business cards in less than an hour, with my name on it, "showing" that I am Microsoft's CEO, or that I am a law professor at Harvard, or anything I like. This is the 21st Century. Computers can do anything basically, and 500 business cards cost less then ten bucks online!

I am starting to get tired of this gentleman's lack of professionalism. Patience is a virtue, however, so I email again:

"Mr. Scanlan,

Thank you for your email.

1. It seems to me that the letter addressed to me is incomplete; only the first page was converted to PDF and the second/any other pages are missing. Also, only one letter is addressed to me, the other,

2. Was addressed to Bell Timbering and was promptly deleted (I stopped reading it as soon as I read the heading, and I am notifying you of the mistake.) I assume it was addressed to me in error, as I do not represent Bell Timbering. If you need to contact Bell Timbering, I suggest you do so directly.

3. My name is Joao not Jao, as any records will show.

4. Please refer to my longer email as to my position on this matter, details of documents and information I require access to, so I may be able to consider the request that is being addressed to me.

I allow myself to call your attention to the fact that I required that any and all contacts that you or anyone else may desire be considered official to be made through company/official means (including email addresses) ---- that will allow me to identify and confirm that any such contacts are genuine.

You write, "I know you know who Mike Ross is give him a call to see if I am who I say I am;" I have heard the name, but I did not have the pleasure of making the acquaintance of Mr. Ross, and thus will not contact him. In fact, I would not contact him even if I knew him personally, unless he was a close friend. The burden is on you to make proof that you are who you say you are, and to make sure you do so as I requested if, again, you want any communication to be considered official. Allow me to emphasize: private, personal email addresses are not acceptable to me, because personal email addresses are not official and I will not consider any such communication as anything but informal at best, given the high risk of fraud and deception on the internet these days.

I am sure you can appreciate my concerns; they are genuine and justified.

In closing, you also write, "We would still like to access you property for survey[,]" to which I reply that I still maintain my position that no permission is granted for anyone to enter my property until I so declare in writing and sign my name to it. Also, if that is to happen, it will be only after we have also a binding agreement and clear terms set that will extend such permission to whoever may need to have access to my land as per Dominion's desire to execute said survey; I have requested information ---- again, refer to my email ---- which must be made available to me, as a sine qua non condition for me to just consider the request for anyone to set foot on my property.

I reiterate: if no such permission has been granted in writing, if no agreement has been signed, I will consider it as trespassing and will deal with it accordingly.

Sincerely,

(Signed)"

Another one-liner, "Tembrline [sic] you bought this property according to the previous owner." Huh? I guess that's supposed to mean, "According to Bell Timbering, the previous owner, you bought this property from them." I used to play "cops and thieves" when I was a kid, and "spies" and we used lots of cryptography. Good thing. It's helping me get through these emails... It would be easier though if they were just properly written and denoted some respect and serious commitment to the task at hand.

A new character is introduced into the storyline. The plot thickens. This email was sent Cc to a certain "Bonita Rockwell" and her email ends in "@doyleland.com." Is there hope?

What's this? Round 5? Or is it round 6? I am starting to lose count. Back to my corner. Take a deep breath. Gurgle. Spit. The water is starting to have a bitter taste.